Walking The Spirit Talk

Laying here with a broken ankle contemplating my commitment to walking the spirit talk. I am so filled with gratitude for all my beautiful friends that have brought me tea or dinner...I hear them sending me love wanting me to be happy...You here so many encouragements. When I hear myself spewing them I always know that they are easy to spew but not so easy in times of trial to live or in my case walk...trust God, get in the river, have an intention (ala the secret), love yourself...love your leg! (even the one you just broke) It's all true...they all work to the degree you get it! But what is the it you have to get? What is the Big Secret? Of course I love my leg...broken or not. The truth is, love is not a gushy feeling you feel inside. It is how you treat yourself...how you experience you and how others experience you. What is your bodies experience of your caretakeing? Are you listening to its needs? Are you taking the time and energy to give it the quality of life you would wish for your own children?


Last night as I was contemplating this situation the one thing I didn't have to contemplate was do I love my leg. And it was with a flash of insight that it was not a lack of love but there was a lack of compassion. I just wanted to get on with my life...so I drove myself to the Dr., tried to get to the grocery store...my leg forced me to give up those usual daily tasks . But it was a big inconvenience to me and all those around me. And I was pissed!


As I unwrapped my splint/cast, my ankle was bruised black and blue, swollen and looked so injured and in that moment I lost my anger at all the inconvenience and realized yet once again I had not given my self, my leg, my life the same deep compassion I would extend to anyone that was injured...I had not been a good caretaker of me. I have to admit this is an old lesson...but I promise the young girl who lives in me, the teenager, the mother and wife, and grandmother that this healing time will be well spent being happy, enjoying my life, having not just love like a peck on the cheek kiss, but love with compassion and honor for the extraordinary life I have the privilege of compassionately caring for.